How to Avoid Holiday Stress

This is my wish for you - DM Dellinger

Remember how much fun the holidays used to be when you were a kid?  No responsibilities, no demands…just the focus on having fun.

However, we all have too many responsibilities.  Everything has become “urgent.”  We’re so busy “doing” that we have lost sight of “being” and “living.”

But focusing on the urgent can take us away from what is IMPORTANT:  peace, gratitude, happiness, health, energy, and (of course) fun!  Being with the people we love and actually having fun with them is often forgotten as we scurry frantically to do what we think is urgent in order to make the holiday a “success.”

One reason for this problem is that we focus on the “urgent” — even though it takes us away from what is really important.  But there is a way to overcome this:  learn to live our lives by focusing on our own unique priorities.  

I’ve posted a 12-minute video on my YouTube Channel to help you identify your priorities and decrease the likelihood of stress from chronic procrastination.

Not only can living by priorities increase our joy, but it will profoundly reduce our stress.  Isn’t it time to re-ignite the childlike joy in the holidays?

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Knowing Is Not Enough

Burnout Bundle_ Lesson 8 - Knowing is not enough

On some level, we all know what we need to do in order to succeed.  We’ve taken the courses, attended the lectures, listened to the podcasts…but somehow we tend to stay “stuck.”

Creating the necessary changes in our lives requires the decision to make those changes.  That means pushing down our fears and deciding that we will implement what we’ve learned — and learn from what we’ve implemented.

And therein lies the rub:  we know what we need to do…but we don’t always apply what we’ve learned.

Perhaps it is the fear of failure — or even the fear of success.

Perhaps it is that we have a high-level understanding of what to do — but lack the specific tactical steps to transform that knowledge into action.

Success in life comes down to the willingness to take action.

But today’s hyperactive, fast-paced, 24/7 world makes demands on our time and thwarts our best efforts to do what we know needs to be done.

So, we need to develop achievable plans with “wiggle room” embedded within them.  In this way, we avoid the snowball effect of too aggressive planning that leads to a cavalcade of missed deadlines.

We need to develop habits that can carry us through when our willpower might be lacking.

We need to get enough sleep and avoid burnout so that we can not only do what needs to be done, but also enjoy the fruits of our efforts.

And we need to care enough about ourselves to do not only what will make us happy, but also create success on our own terms.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Wasting Time on the Urgent…But Forgetting the Important

“Busy-ness” occurs when we react to looming deadlines and crises around us.  The problem is that we often “forget” to take action on the things that are most important to us.  When we procrastinate, important tasks become urgent — leading to unmet goals and burnout.

This 12-minute video explores how procrastination takes us away from our priorities, then provides 4 ways to achieve goals with less stress by focusing on the important and minimizing the urgent.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Why We Keep Asking Questions

Questions we keep asking - Freda Adler

Are we too focused on finding all the answers?

As a researcher, I know that this is a controversial thought to express — but (as every researcher knows) for every question that is answered, several more appear.

Isn’t this also true in our own lives?  We think we know all the answers…but then life throws us a curve ball.  When this happens, we either have to re-learn what we forgot — or prepare ourselves to learn something totally new.

Life is all about asking the questions.  Not necessarily the questions that other people tell us to ask, but the questions that we feel on a deep level will help us develop into the person that we want to be.

There seems to be an insatiable need for people to find out “how to do it”:  how to create a business, how to build positive relationships, how to be a great parent, how to achieve success in our jobs.  We naively think that if we just get the “right” answer, we will be happy.

But life doesn’t work that way.

No two people will be faced with the exact same questions in their lives.  Nor will we be forced to confront the same obstacles.  While there will be trends that span a wide range of people and personalities, each of us have to find the answers to the fundamental questions that are critical in our own lives.

The quality of our lives is directly related
to the quality of our questions.  

If we ask, “Why does this always happen to me?” — our question belies a feeling of being a victim.

If we instead ask, “What can I do to improve this situation right now?” — our question provides direction to our conscious brain and subconscious mind to find a solution.

Every question has a subtext, an assumption that provides the foundation and meaning behind that question.  No matter how hard we try, we will probably never be able to answer the question, “Why did he or she do that to me?!” — because we can never truly know everything that someone has gone through in their lives.

Images can be deceiving.

The questions that we are asking right now reveal our emotional assumptions about the current state of our lives.  Because life is constantly changing, so are our questions.

So what burning questions do you need to answer?

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Why It’s Time to Put an End to “Busy-ness”

Pet Hamster Holding A Blank  Sign

Is your business life burning you out – or is it the constant “busy-ness” that’s exhausting you? Is there REALLY a difference?!

Simply stated, YES. There is a critical difference that is based on the priorities that you use to determine your daily activities.

While it is noble, worthwhile, and even essential to actively participate in the strategic planning and daily operations of your professional life, don’t let your attempts to meet the demands of your business fall prey to “busy-ness.”

“Busy-ness” is analogous to a hamster constantly running on a wheel – but ultimately not getting any farther ahead. Still stuck on the wheel in its cage, the hamster nonetheless continues to do the same thing regardless of the result.

While the hamster might be enjoying the run, a business professional rarely sees the lack of movement as a good thing. Put another way, busy-ness is frantically treading water just to stay afloat.  

No One Consciously Strives for a Life of Busy-ness 

People generally like to see progress, results, or achievement. If you’re collapsing from exhaustion at night (but feel like your progress or results don’t match your effort), then you are a candidate for energy sapping “busy-ness.”  But why?

A life of busy-ness often results from a lack of priorities or time management. Let me explain.

While we all have worthwhile goals that we generally want to achieve, it is far too common for days, weeks, months, or even years to pass by with little or no progress toward their attainment. Because our priorities determine our actions, our REAL priorities are found in what we spend the most time doing.

This is closely akin to time management – which requires prioritization as the foundation of how we structure our days and lives.

I know what you’re thinking:

“You don’t understand!
I have work responsibilities AND personal responsibilities.
People depend on me – and I’m only one person trying to do it all!” 

This is the definition of crisis management – and crisis management is a contributing factor to burnout. Think of it this way: if you’re burned out, how are you going to have the energy to help anybody else – not even yourself?

But most of us DO have these competing priorities. The challenge is how to manage them.

The Culprits of Busy-ness

We don’t intentionally over-schedule our lives — that is, leaving NO time out between our actions to take of all these competing demands.  But we do have to recognize the insidious culprits that create a life of busy-ness.

#1 – Meetings. While some might be necessary, the purpose of many is just showing up. Does anybody really know what the meeting’s purpose is? Or what the desired outcomes are? Or why we’ve even been invited to attend in the first place? But standing meetings and ad hoc meetings are often time wasters that drain time away from the more important duties and responsibilities. As a result, the busy-ness leads to constantly playing “catch up.”

#2 – The Rush of Activity. Being busy feels good – but only if we are also being productive. Doing “stuff” that is unimportant or mindless can be a respite from an over-scheduled life. But when we have nothing to show for our effort of constant motion and activity, it’s a short skip over to resentment. The unfocused activities inherent in busy-ness are NOT productive action.

#3 – Perfectionism. Perfectionists are notorious for creating additional “must do’s” on their “to do” lists. Coupled with a belief that “if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself,” perfectionists tend to subvert their priorities due to the constant struggle to do it all. Perfectionists fundamentally don’t trust other people to do what they say they are going to do OR do it in a way that meets the perfectionist’s high standards. Perfectionists may feel a sense of omnipotence even though their overscheduled calendars prevent them from meeting their true goals due to busy-ness.

#4 – Avoidance and Procrastination. Be honest: do you really want to clean the garage? Or tackle that monstrous report? Or deal with the communication problems in your team? Probably not. But the pervasive Puritan work ethic compels us to do something because we can’t just do nothing! So, we do the easy stuff. The mindless stuff. The stuff that takes time…but isn’t really that important. Then, when we miss the deadline of the avoided behemoth, we can honestly assert that we simply didn’t have the time – we were “too busy” with the other stuff.

#5 – The Absence of Planning. I once saw a cartoon where an employee was sitting quietly at his desk. When his boss asked him what he was doing, he replied that he was thinking – to which the boss replied, “Well quit thinking and get back to work!” In the cultures of many modern workplaces, thinking and planning are the equivalent of day dreaming – but activity of any kind is considered to be working! Unfocused activity that is done simply for the sake of doing something is busy-ness – and investing time in the unimportant is the result of poor planning.

3 Tips to Replace Busy-ness with Focused Action 

Instead of succumbing to action for its own sake, take a moment to decide what is truly important to YOU. What are the things that you need to do in order to create the legacy that you want to leave?  Remember:  you will leave a legacy even if you aren’t intentionally trying to do so.

Next, take stock of your weekly responsibilities in both your professional and personal lives. Estimate the amount of time that you think you need to complete each project – then be sure to include some “wiggle room” for unanticipated glitches or interruptions!

Finally, decide which projects must be completed by only you versus which can be delegated to others.  When delegating, even if they might not be able to do it as “perfectly” as you would like, you need to determine whether this level of perfection is actually required in order to achieve the goal).

Being busy in activities that bring you joy and lead to your desired goals creates the path toward actualizing your legacy. Plus you’ll be more energized and self-actualizing.

In contrast, permitting yourself to be victimized by a life of busy-ness leads only to exhaustion, regret, and resentment.

You DO have the power to give up busy-ness and get back on the track to the business of your life. All it takes is the courage and commitment to live your life by your priorities.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

We Are The Stuff on Which Our Minds Are Set

User's Guide - How I will get it

Throughout the ages, sages have advised us to monitor our thoughts — because they determine what we do and how we respond, which in turn determines the life that we experience.

So, what are YOU thinking about today?

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Who Needs Sleep? How Work Overload Burns Out Employees (VIDEO)

This is the final video in my 10-part series focusing on the 10 ways that organizations burn out employees.  I’ll discuss how two types of work overload burn out employees — plus the actions you can take now to prioritize projects and help employees create a better work-life balance.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com