Life Is Like Riding a Bicycle

Life is like a bicycle - Albert Einstein

Why do we tend to focus so much on arriving at the goal…but forget about the journey?  Why is it so easy to quit moving forward after we’ve reached our destination?

In other words, why do we STOP moving after a perceived “end point?”

Nothing in life is static.  We are constantly moving.  The goal, of course, is to direct our movements toward something that is worthwhile, noble, and satisfying.  If we stand still, we are more likely to retreat into our past glories (or defeats) and forego moving toward the future.

But many movements are imperceptible.  Even when we are sleeping or at rest, there is constant motion within our bodies:  our hearts, lungs, and digestive tracts continue to work autonomously even when we aren’t.

Despite the stillness we experience in meditation, certain parts of the brain continue to be highly activated. A recent study showed that our electrical brain waves during meditation are not static; instead the waves indicate a perfect balance of mental activity that is both wakeful and relaxed.

Life is all about this delicate balance arising from movement. Some of our movements will be visible to others through actions and behaviors. Other movements will be private and intangible in the form of thoughts and desires. But both forms of movement are necessary to build wisdom and growth during the journey that is our life.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

So, What Do You REALLY Want to Do?

Bored woman at desk - joshua-rawson-harris-444993-unsplash

Have you ever asked a child what he or she wants to be when they grow up?  Usually they have a long, extensive list of all the professional possibilities just waiting for them when they grow up.

But ask an adult what he or she really wants to do professionally?  Well, that’s usually a completely different situation.

Have We Settled for “Boring” in Our Jobs? 

In the 25+ years that I’ve worked with clients to help them direct their careers, one of the most challenging issues has been getting them to tell me what they really want to do:

  • Some tell me what they’re currently doing – but don’t say it with any type of emotional connection or enthusiasm for the work.
  • Some tell me about the desired outcomes of doing “something else” – but never talk about what they’re willing to give in return for those outcomes.
  • And some look at me blankly, but honestly say that they just don’t know.

It seems like we’ve forgotten how to dream about a desirable future because of our self-limiting beliefs on what is “possible.”

Yes, I said SELF-LIMITING beliefs.  We confuse what is “possible” (which is anything) with what is “probable” (which restricts imagination based on what we believe).

While it is true that our dreams of being a musical prodigy or sports superstar may be improbable, our underlying  passion for music or sports remains very real – but often hidden by layers of “real-life” pragmatism.

But being “pragmatic” is often an excuse for denying our dreams.  For denying our passions.  For denying our potential.  And even denying our personal blend of knowledge, skills, abilities, and talents that makes us unique.

Instead of basking in our uniqueness at work, we instead wallow in jobs that neither inspire us nor appeal to our higher level passion and goals.  In other words, we settle for jobs that are boring.

And we spend too much time at work to be bored!

Assuming that we average around 40 hours per week in paid employment and have 2 weeks of unpaid vacation time per year, we’ve committed ourselves to working 2,000 hours per year.  Let’s also assume that we ideally sleep 8 hours per night; this means that we are awake 5,840 hours each year.

These basic calculations lead to the following conclusions:

On average, we will spend @35% of our waking hours at work —  over a 40-year career, that’s 80,000 hours spent on work that doesn’t excite us! 

These are conservative calculations.  In reality, many of us spend many more hours working at our jobs.  This doesn’t include overtime (paid or unpaid, of exempt salaried under FLSA).  Nor does it include all those paid vacations that we “never got around to taking.”  Nor does it consider that many Baby Boomers’ careers are longer than 40 years (because they want to or need to).

Do you really want to spend this much of your live…being BORED?!

The Dangers of Boredom at Work

Boredom occurs when an activity feels unsatisfying or when some mandatory task does not ignite your interest.  It’s not necessarily the result of a bored mindset.  Even highly energized workers can become bored when they are not given opportunities to focus that energy on something that is meaningful to them.

Some recent research suggests that boredom can lead to physical ailments:

  • Weight gain (eating because we’re bored – and generally food that is not necessarily healthy for us)
  • Poor emotional health and depression
  • Persistent back pain or a higher level of pain in general (in other words, unhappy emotions increase feelings of physical pain)

Other research has found that a lack of neurological excitement coupled with a subjective psychological state of dissatisfaction is the basis for feelings of boredom.  In other words, we are uninspired and dissatisfied with our work.

Boredom makes us feel “stuck” – we’re weary and restless with no direction.  It also prevents us from engaging in our innate curiosity by placing boundaries on what we believe is possible.  It tells us that “nothing will change…so why bother trying something new?”

Boredom makes us believe that “success” is impossible.

By affecting the individual worker,
boredom can also jeopardize the company’s very survival! 

Moving Out of a Boring Job

It is not helpful to believe that every task in a job should be full of excitement.  A certain level of mundane tasks can be found in any job.  But we don’t have to let the tedium take over our work experience.

If your job has become boring and tedious, you have arrived at an important crossroad:  are you going to accept that you have no choice to change a job that is boring OR do are you going to muster the courage to take action toward finding something new, different, and better aligned with your life goals?

My hope is that you take the time to assess your career to date in order to determine if it’s time to make changes in your life.

The first step to moving out of a boring job is to identify what you want.  Don’t limit yourself to probabilities at this stage!  Instead think back to what gives you enjoyment.  Identify those activities in which you are so thoroughly engaged that “time seems to fly by.”

Once you’ve identified these activities, it’s time to search for common themes.  Even though you might enjoy what initially seem to be very diverse activities, there is always some underlying action or outcome.  By identifying this thread, you have the foundation for creating a career that contains this important element.

For example, I was originally a conservatory voice major.  This required me to be comfortable on a stage, able to communicate and engage the audience, and be prepared to do what was necessary in order to be ready to do perform my best onstage – regardless of the amount of time involved.  I also liked the creativity blended with a thorough understanding of different musical genres.  While much of the background work was autonomous, there was also camaraderie with other musicians as we prepared for a performance.

But above all, I wanted to make people feel something as a result of my performance.

While I no longer have ambitions of being a professional singer, I still have a deep desire to make my clients, students, and keynote attendees feel something by being challenged with new ideas that can improve their lives.

While the “stage” of my career is quite different, the elements that gave me joy as a singer are still present in my role as a leading advocate for the eradication of workplace burnout.

What’s your “common thread” in what gives YOU joy?

To thank you for reading my blog and to help you on your journey to finding a satisfying career that you love, please check out my newly updated eCourse, A User’s Guide to Managing Your Career:  You’ll learn how to identify what you really want in and expect from your career, plus develop 3 levels of goals to propel you toward a career that you will love.  (NOTE:  Although this is an intensive 7 module course, it is available on-demand so that you can work on it at your own pace – plus you have LIFETIME access!)

SPECIAL GIFT:  If you use discount code ANW2W10P, you can save 10% off this course.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

A Fresh Start After a Perceived “Failure”

Failure is staying down - Mary Pickford

Let’s face it:  we’ve all failed — and often quite spectacularly.

How we define “failure” is closely related to our unmet expectations:  when our projected outcomes do not align with our current reality…when we judge and compare ourselves to others…when our negative self-talk plays in a demoralizing perpetual loop.

We all fall down — but we don’t have to STAY down!  Let’s take this moment to refuse to dwell on our perceived “failures.”

Instead, let’s consciously focus on the lessons learned so that we can move out of negativity..and into positivity, passion, meaning, and joy.

The BAD news:  Focusing on failure makes us dangerously susceptible to burnout.
The GOOD news:  We have the undeniable power to make every moment in every day a brand new start!  All we need to do is CHOOSE to start fresh.

In 2019, let’s remember to consciously breathe with gratitude for the good in our lives — and with each breath, commit to rewriting our future by changing the paradigms that shape our lives.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Why I STOPPED Trying to “Do It All” During the Holidays

Busy Elves

Does “having it all” necessarily mean “doing it all?”

In today’s fast-paced, chaotic world, we’ve developed a strong tendency to “go for the gold” in everything that we do — and we’re under constant pressure to do so:

It’s not enough to have a “happy” holiday…it has to be an AWESOME holiday!

It’s not enough to join our family and friends for a holiday meal, it has be the equivalent of a MICHELIN STAR feast!

While excellence is a worthwhile goal, I’ve come to believe that we can’t necessarily be “the best” at everything that we do — and that can be a good thing to help us really enjoy what we are doing.

So why do we apologize for our perceived lack of “perfection” — thereby forgetting to relish those things that we actually enjoy?

There are only 24 hours in a day – and we have to sleep at least some of those hours. But few of us get the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep per night, so our energy falters even though we insist on continuing to do “everything.”

The result is higher stress and an even more insurmountable “to do” list.

So why do we insist — either consciously OR subconsciously — that it is imperative that we “do it all?” Even more important: why do we apologize when we CAN’T “do it all?”

Priorities, Importance, and the Unimportant 

The answer is to prioritize what’s important to us — because when everything is important, then nothing is really important.

The simple truth (albeit a hard one for many of us to accept) is that we can’t “do it all.” But we can do the important things — the things that represent our priorities — well. “Doing it all” inherently draws us off course as we attempt to also do the unimportant things in our lives.

“Unimportant,” however, doesn’t mean “unnecessary.” Unimportant tasks are those activities that might need to be done – but don’t necessarily have to be done…by us.

Therein lies the challenge: when we admit that a task that we have traditionally accomplished can be done by someone else, it often causes our ego to question our “value.”

One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned is to accept the fact that I am a human being. This is NOT a human “doing” nor is it a “superhero” who doesn’t need sleep, rest, and relaxation. It also means accepting the fact that I can’t do everything “perfectly.”

But, like many of us, admitting that I can’t do it all was and (to a certain extent) continues to be a challenge. At no time is this more evident than during the holidays.

When we believe that everything is important, we lose our ability to prioritize things into what’s really  important, what’s not important, and what’s “nice” but neither necessary nor enjoyable.

Trying to do it all leads to feelings of being overwhelmed. Failing in our attempts to do it all leads to frustration and a diminished sense of self-worth. When we exhaust ourselves trying to meet impossible self-imposed deadlines, we burn out.

Yet we continue in our misguided efforts to go beyond our very human limitations.

How to STOP Doing It All (and Not Enjoying It) 

There is a twopart cure for trying to “do it all”:

  1. First, we must prioritize what’s important to us…
  2. Then we must have the courage to focus our efforts on only those activities that are important to us

This means being able to say “no.” It also means being sufficiently confident of our own unique value so that we can feel comfortable delegating tasks to other people based on what’s important to them. 

If you love to bake, then by all means bake your family’s traditional holiday cookies!

Hate to decorate the tree? Then enlist your children, nephews, and nieces to “go wild” with their imaginations in the decorations.

Continuing to spend days preparing the Feast of the Seven Fishes for your Italian family? Then scale back and prepare only those dishes that your family really looks forward to. (NOTE: I did this in my family — surprisingly, the missing baccala was not even noticed!)

But the most important step to STOP trying to do it all is to stop apologizing when we can’t “do it all.”

It’s time to accept the fact that not only we personally but also everyone else CAN’T “do it all.” This insight drastically changes our perspectives of what is important, what is feasible, and what is just additional “stuff” that has little if any true importance.

FREE De-Stressing the Holidays eCourse:
How to Move From Bah Hum Bug to HoHoHo!  

Available NOW — enroll in my free 3-lesson eCourse to learn 50 ways to de-stress the holidays at home and at work!  Click here for more information.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  To learn more, please visit her blog for individuals at www.a-new-way-to-work.com or her corporate blog at www.changewithoutburnout.com.  For more tips and ideas, please subscribe to her weekly “Success @ Work” eNewsletter at https://drgeripuleo.lpages.co/success-work-opt-in-page

Why Burnout Is NOT Inevitable

Burnout Bundle - Logo

Burnout has become rampant in the modern workplace. As the demands on our time, creativity, and problem-solving capabilities increase, this creates a stressor-rich environment that can contribute to burnout.

Even though our professional and personal lives have become increasingly hectic, time-consuming, and stressful, we DON’T have to become victims of this stress by succumbing to burnout.

IMPORTANT: Burning out does NOT mean that you have a maladaptive response to stress! In fact, I’ve found that it is the combination of three factors that create a fertile environment for the onset of burnout. This Burnout Triumvirate is comprised of personality traits, the organizational work environment, and physical symptoms.

Personality Traits. No two people are identical in their response to an external stressor. Therefore, understanding what causes YOU to experience negative stress is the first step in avoiding potential burnout-producing situations.

  • Are you a perfectionist with high standards that exceed what is necessary to get the job done?
  • Are you a people-pleaser who can’t seem to say “no” to the demands and requests of others?

Organizational Environment. Just as no two people are the same, no two work environments will create the same set of stressors that can lead to burnout.

  • How is your relationship with your immediate supervisor or boss? Is it autocratic, laissez-faire, or collegial?
  • What are the unspoken requirements for success in your workplace? Are long hours demanded? Is it necessary to curry political favors in order to get ahead?

Physical Symptoms. Finally, prolonged experiences of negative stress are manifested in a wide variety of physical malaise — both chronic and acute — that contribute to and maintain burnout.

  • Do you have a cold that you just can’t seem to get rid of? Gastrointestinal problems? A general feeling of being unwell?
  • Are you having difficulty getting a good night’s sleep — either failing to fall asleep or continuously waking up during the night?

By understanding your unique burnout triggers, you can not only overcome a current burnout but also take proactive steps to avoid burning out in the future.

Because my mission is to eradicate workplace burnout, I’ve expanded upon my research-based findings in an on-demand eCourse to help stressed out workers achieve greater productivity, work-life balance, and job satisfaction through recognizing, overcoming, and avoiding burnout.  P.S.: You can save $15 by using the coupon code BURNOUT15.

How to Avoid Burnout

Denial is one of the most difficult challenges associated with burnout. This is why it is so important to identify the types of situations or relationships that tend to be most stressful to you AND become crystal clear as to the personality traits that make you more susceptible to burnout.

While it’s always best to prevent burnout from occurring, you also need to have a clear action plan that will enable you to identify your personal warning signs that “routine” stress is moving toward burnout. In addition to sleep problems, you might notice that it is taking you longer to complete projects or that you’ve become cranky with your coworkers and family. You might even notice that you’ve lost your sense of humor!

It’s also important to bring subconscious self-talk to the forefront. In other words, what are you saying to yourself that can increase the likelihood of burnout AND keep you burned out? (HINT: One of the most common self-talk loops that sustains burnout focuses on the belief that “It should have been different.”)

It’s always best to take remedial action before you are in a full-blown burnout — but watch out for burnout’s false cures! These are the tactics used to assuage your stress (such as alcohol consumption or even spending more time at work), but that ultimately end up increasing your stress levels.

When you are on the road to burnout recovery, there is still one additional but powerful obstacle that can undermine your progress: residual burnout. Similar to a boomerang effect, residual burnout can be triggered by any situation that is reminiscent of what contributed to your burnout. While you might not succumb to a full-blown burnout, residual burnout can increase the levels of frustration, anger, and apathy that precipitate burnout.

The good news is that there ARE proven techniques to help you decrease stress and overcome burnout! These include common techniques (such as exercise, therapy, and a support network) to some not-so-common strategies that include embracing the changes that precipitated burnout and shifting your attention (and energy!) to something more positive.

I hope that this article provided you with some ideas to overcome burnout. I’d love to have you join us in my companion eCourse — How to Manage Stress and Avoid Burnout.

This 10-lesson eCourse dives into the personality traits, organizational environment, and physical problems that contribute to and maintain burnout. It is mobile-friendly and includes videos, articles, audiopodcasts, workbooks, quick quizzes, and a private community discussion forum to help you manage stress and avoid burnout. Don’t forget to use the special code BURNOUT15 to save $15 when you register!

eCourse registration is on a rolling basis, so you can begin the training whenever it best fits with your calendar. To learn more, please click here or go to https://app.ruzuku.com/courses/28192/about.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model. An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube. To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com.  

Nothing can stop you from letting go…and starting over

Nothing can stop you from letting go and starting over - Guy Finley

Letting go is hard.  We hold on to so many things that no longer serve us.  We stay in jobs that demoralize us.  We stay in relationships in which we no longer have anything in common.  We stay stuck on a strategy that isn’t producing the results that we desire.

Yet we continue to hang on — even more tightly than before.

The question is:  why?

  • It is emotionally challenging to let go of something that we’ve put a lot of time, sweat, and tears into.
  • Letting go of something that is no longer working makes us question our abilities, problem-solving, and decision-making:  how did something so desirable turn out so wrong?
  • We see the act of starting over as beginning anew…without anything to support us as we move forward toward an unknown future.
  • Perhaps most significantly, we refuse to let go because we’re afraid to change.

The only reason why we do not move forward is because we prevent ourselves from moving forward.  Nothing in the universe is stopping us.  Nothing.

Far too often, we stand in our own way.  We ignore the warning signs of future challenges — or we bury ourselves in the past hurts that continue to victimize us.

We also worry about what other people will think of our decision to let go and start over.  We exaggerate their influence in our lives.  We even cater to the whims and wants of people who really don’t have our best interests at heart.

In the end, we sacrifice our own purpose and the creation of the legacy of our lives — simply because we’re afraid to let go and start over.

If you are in a place in your life where you need to start anew, consider these reminders:

  • Starting over is not an indication of “failure” — it is a courageous act to move forward in creating the life that make us happy.
  • Starting over is an exciting opportunity to let go of all the situations, people, and circumstances that have prevented us from creating and realizing our unique destiny.
  • Starting over does not mean starting with “nothing” — we have the incredible advantage of insights gleaned from what didn’t work in the past and can now use that knowledge to avoid similar landmines in the future.
  • Starting over is starting fresh — so let go of the nagging, belittling, self-deprecating self-talk in order to be lighter and more agile in moving forward.

You’re never too old to start over!  Isn’t it time to get out of your own way and create success on your own terms?

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

Every beginning from other beginning's end - Seneca

Beginnings and endings:  are they really that different?  Or are they different ways of viewing the same event?

To begin anew means giving up what we did in the past in order to begin unfettered in creating a new future.  A fresh beginning that allows us to to move freely forward requires accepting that the events in the past have concluded.

Everything has a beginning…and everything has an end.  But letting go of the past can be a monumental task.

While past events may have laid the groundwork  for our steps into the future, the very nature of beginning marks the end of something else.

Too often we try to move forward while steadfastly clinging to the past.  But this is like driving a car by only looking in the rear view mirror — then wondering why we were unprepared for the roadblock in front of us.

Life has a great internal balance.  Everything that happens occurs for a reason.  And every beginning will eventually end in order to allow a new beginning to emerge.

Are you willing to accept what has ended in order to move forward?

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com