So, What Do You REALLY Want to Do?

Bored woman at desk - joshua-rawson-harris-444993-unsplash

Have you ever asked a child what he or she wants to be when they grow up?  Usually they have a long, extensive list of all the professional possibilities just waiting for them when they grow up.

But ask an adult what he or she really wants to do professionally?  Well, that’s usually a completely different situation.

Have We Settled for “Boring” in Our Jobs? 

In the 25+ years that I’ve worked with clients to help them direct their careers, one of the most challenging issues has been getting them to tell me what they really want to do:

  • Some tell me what they’re currently doing – but don’t say it with any type of emotional connection or enthusiasm for the work.
  • Some tell me about the desired outcomes of doing “something else” – but never talk about what they’re willing to give in return for those outcomes.
  • And some look at me blankly, but honestly say that they just don’t know.

It seems like we’ve forgotten how to dream about a desirable future because of our self-limiting beliefs on what is “possible.”

Yes, I said SELF-LIMITING beliefs.  We confuse what is “possible” (which is anything) with what is “probable” (which restricts imagination based on what we believe).

While it is true that our dreams of being a musical prodigy or sports superstar may be improbable, our underlying  passion for music or sports remains very real – but often hidden by layers of “real-life” pragmatism.

But being “pragmatic” is often an excuse for denying our dreams.  For denying our passions.  For denying our potential.  And even denying our personal blend of knowledge, skills, abilities, and talents that makes us unique.

Instead of basking in our uniqueness at work, we instead wallow in jobs that neither inspire us nor appeal to our higher level passion and goals.  In other words, we settle for jobs that are boring.

And we spend too much time at work to be bored!

Assuming that we average around 40 hours per week in paid employment and have 2 weeks of unpaid vacation time per year, we’ve committed ourselves to working 2,000 hours per year.  Let’s also assume that we ideally sleep 8 hours per night; this means that we are awake 5,840 hours each year.

These basic calculations lead to the following conclusions:

On average, we will spend @35% of our waking hours at work —  over a 40-year career, that’s 80,000 hours spent on work that doesn’t excite us! 

These are conservative calculations.  In reality, many of us spend many more hours working at our jobs.  This doesn’t include overtime (paid or unpaid, of exempt salaried under FLSA).  Nor does it include all those paid vacations that we “never got around to taking.”  Nor does it consider that many Baby Boomers’ careers are longer than 40 years (because they want to or need to).

Do you really want to spend this much of your live…being BORED?!

The Dangers of Boredom at Work

Boredom occurs when an activity feels unsatisfying or when some mandatory task does not ignite your interest.  It’s not necessarily the result of a bored mindset.  Even highly energized workers can become bored when they are not given opportunities to focus that energy on something that is meaningful to them.

Some recent research suggests that boredom can lead to physical ailments:

  • Weight gain (eating because we’re bored – and generally food that is not necessarily healthy for us)
  • Poor emotional health and depression
  • Persistent back pain or a higher level of pain in general (in other words, unhappy emotions increase feelings of physical pain)

Other research has found that a lack of neurological excitement coupled with a subjective psychological state of dissatisfaction is the basis for feelings of boredom.  In other words, we are uninspired and dissatisfied with our work.

Boredom makes us feel “stuck” – we’re weary and restless with no direction.  It also prevents us from engaging in our innate curiosity by placing boundaries on what we believe is possible.  It tells us that “nothing will change…so why bother trying something new?”

Boredom makes us believe that “success” is impossible.

By affecting the individual worker,
boredom can also jeopardize the company’s very survival! 

Moving Out of a Boring Job

It is not helpful to believe that every task in a job should be full of excitement.  A certain level of mundane tasks can be found in any job.  But we don’t have to let the tedium take over our work experience.

If your job has become boring and tedious, you have arrived at an important crossroad:  are you going to accept that you have no choice to change a job that is boring OR do are you going to muster the courage to take action toward finding something new, different, and better aligned with your life goals?

My hope is that you take the time to assess your career to date in order to determine if it’s time to make changes in your life.

The first step to moving out of a boring job is to identify what you want.  Don’t limit yourself to probabilities at this stage!  Instead think back to what gives you enjoyment.  Identify those activities in which you are so thoroughly engaged that “time seems to fly by.”

Once you’ve identified these activities, it’s time to search for common themes.  Even though you might enjoy what initially seem to be very diverse activities, there is always some underlying action or outcome.  By identifying this thread, you have the foundation for creating a career that contains this important element.

For example, I was originally a conservatory voice major.  This required me to be comfortable on a stage, able to communicate and engage the audience, and be prepared to do what was necessary in order to be ready to do perform my best onstage – regardless of the amount of time involved.  I also liked the creativity blended with a thorough understanding of different musical genres.  While much of the background work was autonomous, there was also camaraderie with other musicians as we prepared for a performance.

But above all, I wanted to make people feel something as a result of my performance.

While I no longer have ambitions of being a professional singer, I still have a deep desire to make my clients, students, and keynote attendees feel something by being challenged with new ideas that can improve their lives.

While the “stage” of my career is quite different, the elements that gave me joy as a singer are still present in my role as a leading advocate for the eradication of workplace burnout.

What’s your “common thread” in what gives YOU joy?

To thank you for reading my blog and to help you on your journey to finding a satisfying career that you love, please check out my newly updated eCourse, A User’s Guide to Managing Your Career:  You’ll learn how to identify what you really want in and expect from your career, plus develop 3 levels of goals to propel you toward a career that you will love.  (NOTE:  Although this is an intensive 7 module course, it is available on-demand so that you can work on it at your own pace – plus you have LIFETIME access!)

SPECIAL GIFT:  If you use discount code ANW2W10P, you can save 10% off this course.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Why I STOPPED Trying to “Do It All” During the Holidays

Busy Elves

Does “having it all” necessarily mean “doing it all?”

In today’s fast-paced, chaotic world, we’ve developed a strong tendency to “go for the gold” in everything that we do — and we’re under constant pressure to do so:

It’s not enough to have a “happy” holiday…it has to be an AWESOME holiday!

It’s not enough to join our family and friends for a holiday meal, it has be the equivalent of a MICHELIN STAR feast!

While excellence is a worthwhile goal, I’ve come to believe that we can’t necessarily be “the best” at everything that we do — and that can be a good thing to help us really enjoy what we are doing.

So why do we apologize for our perceived lack of “perfection” — thereby forgetting to relish those things that we actually enjoy?

There are only 24 hours in a day – and we have to sleep at least some of those hours. But few of us get the recommended 7-8 hours of sleep per night, so our energy falters even though we insist on continuing to do “everything.”

The result is higher stress and an even more insurmountable “to do” list.

So why do we insist — either consciously OR subconsciously — that it is imperative that we “do it all?” Even more important: why do we apologize when we CAN’T “do it all?”

Priorities, Importance, and the Unimportant 

The answer is to prioritize what’s important to us — because when everything is important, then nothing is really important.

The simple truth (albeit a hard one for many of us to accept) is that we can’t “do it all.” But we can do the important things — the things that represent our priorities — well. “Doing it all” inherently draws us off course as we attempt to also do the unimportant things in our lives.

“Unimportant,” however, doesn’t mean “unnecessary.” Unimportant tasks are those activities that might need to be done – but don’t necessarily have to be done…by us.

Therein lies the challenge: when we admit that a task that we have traditionally accomplished can be done by someone else, it often causes our ego to question our “value.”

One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned is to accept the fact that I am a human being. This is NOT a human “doing” nor is it a “superhero” who doesn’t need sleep, rest, and relaxation. It also means accepting the fact that I can’t do everything “perfectly.”

But, like many of us, admitting that I can’t do it all was and (to a certain extent) continues to be a challenge. At no time is this more evident than during the holidays.

When we believe that everything is important, we lose our ability to prioritize things into what’s really  important, what’s not important, and what’s “nice” but neither necessary nor enjoyable.

Trying to do it all leads to feelings of being overwhelmed. Failing in our attempts to do it all leads to frustration and a diminished sense of self-worth. When we exhaust ourselves trying to meet impossible self-imposed deadlines, we burn out.

Yet we continue in our misguided efforts to go beyond our very human limitations.

How to STOP Doing It All (and Not Enjoying It) 

There is a twopart cure for trying to “do it all”:

  1. First, we must prioritize what’s important to us…
  2. Then we must have the courage to focus our efforts on only those activities that are important to us

This means being able to say “no.” It also means being sufficiently confident of our own unique value so that we can feel comfortable delegating tasks to other people based on what’s important to them. 

If you love to bake, then by all means bake your family’s traditional holiday cookies!

Hate to decorate the tree? Then enlist your children, nephews, and nieces to “go wild” with their imaginations in the decorations.

Continuing to spend days preparing the Feast of the Seven Fishes for your Italian family? Then scale back and prepare only those dishes that your family really looks forward to. (NOTE: I did this in my family — surprisingly, the missing baccala was not even noticed!)

But the most important step to STOP trying to do it all is to stop apologizing when we can’t “do it all.”

It’s time to accept the fact that not only we personally but also everyone else CAN’T “do it all.” This insight drastically changes our perspectives of what is important, what is feasible, and what is just additional “stuff” that has little if any true importance.

FREE De-Stressing the Holidays eCourse:
How to Move From Bah Hum Bug to HoHoHo!  

Available NOW — enroll in my free 3-lesson eCourse to learn 50 ways to de-stress the holidays at home and at work!  Click here for more information.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  To learn more, please visit her blog for individuals at www.a-new-way-to-work.com or her corporate blog at www.changewithoutburnout.com.  For more tips and ideas, please subscribe to her weekly “Success @ Work” eNewsletter at https://drgeripuleo.lpages.co/success-work-opt-in-page

Acceptance Can Overcome Consequences

Burnout Bundle_ Lesson 3 - Acceptance of what has happened

Acceptance is the first step to letting go of the past…and moving forward into the future.

Many of us are resilient enough to accept our contributions to a negative outcome — in fact, we may berate ourselves for our missteps. Such “guilt trips” only keep us rooted in the past and prevent us from harnessing our creativity to try something new in order to create a more happy and fulfilling future.

But even more challenging than these self-imposed “guilt trips,”  I’ve found that it is much more difficult to accept consequences that have befallen upon us when they are the results of other people’s actions OR inaction.

Once again, we stay rooted in the past as we try to understand why they did what they did — we do this in order to identify what happened so that we can avoid it in the future.  The problem is that it can be impossible to truly understand what motivated someone else’s behavior:  there are often contributory factors of which we are and will always be unaware.

To accept what has happened in our lives requires that we accept — without bias, blame, or guilt — where we are RIGHT NOW.  Even if it’s not where we wanted to be.  Acceptance means viewing our present situation without blinders…without anger…without self-guilt.

Acceptance is the seed of hope.

By not accepting what has happened, we give away our power to choose how we will move forward and out of the consequences that we are currently experiencing.  Just like we always have the power to choose, so too do we also always have the power to accept.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

We Are The Stuff on Which Our Minds Are Set

User's Guide - How I will get it

Throughout the ages, sages have advised us to monitor our thoughts — because they determine what we do and how we respond, which in turn determines the life that we experience.

So, what are YOU thinking about today?

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Developing Charisma: Why It’s a Skill That Can Be Learned

Charisma in front of crowd

What IS charisma?  Is it an innate personality trait – or is it a skill that can be learned?  Does charisma require you to be an extrovert – or can “shy” people be charismatic, too?  Finally, is it really important in business today?

Although charisma can be difficult to define, this definition takes charisma out of the realm of personality traits:

Charisma is the ability to inspire and motivate people
to do MORE than they would normally do
DESPITE obstacles and personal sacrifice. 

Charisma, therefore, is more than simply motivating someone to do something that they would have done without your influence.

Charisma brings others out of their shells and builds their self-confidence.

Charisma addresses the head and the heart of other people so that they will perceive regardless of the obstacles they may face or the personal sacrifices that may be demanded of them.

The 8 Characteristics of Charismatic Leaders

In the modern workplace of flattened organizational hierarchies, cross-functional leadership with or without a formal title has become an important criteria for an organization to survive.  While it cannot be denied that some people may have a more innate talent to be charismatic, charisma can be learned.

Surprised that something as ineffable as “charisma” can be a learned skill?  Once you understand the 8 characteristics that define charismatic leaders, you’ll be better able to inspire others to commit wholeheartedly to your vision.

  1. Appeal to BOTH the heart and the mind.  One reason why leaders are often not perceived as being charismatic occurs when they focus exclusively on charts, graphs, and metrics.  While important, such quantitative items do not inspire creativity in others.  Story-telling has become a popular tool to entwine the quantitative outcomes with more esoteric and heartfelt reasons to achieve those outcomes.
  2. Have passion for the work. A leader will never be charismatic if they are lackadaisical about what they do and why they are doing it.  Passion does not necessarily mean emotional fits or grand verbosity; passion can also be equated with focus and commitment to an outcome as well as its overall importance.
  3. Create an atmosphere of change. Charismatic leaders rarely maintain the status quo.  They are visionaries who can see opportunities (often before others) and then have the courage to take the necessary actions to move forward toward their achievement.  This requires being comfortable with change – but remember that change does NOT have to be chaos.
  4. Communicate in a clear, compelling way. Once again, charismatic leaders inspire others by appealing to both their hearts and minds.  This requires the ability to describe complex ideas or goals in a way that is simple but still addresses the curiosity and creativity of others.  There’s nothing worse than a leader who appeals to the hearts of followers through a powerful vision – but then leaves them without the means or strategy to attain it.
  5. Have abiding faith in the vision. Closely aligned with passion, charismatic leaders will go over, under, or through obstacles in order to achieve their goals.  Obstacles are viewed as bumps in the road rather than derailing road blocks.  This level of certainty and confidence inspires others to also move outside their comfort zones and take risks.
  6. May be unconventional. Although not necessary, charismatic leaders usually have some type of mannerism or communication style that separates them from others.  While not absolutely essential, being somewhat unconventional is often equated with creative, outside the box thinking.  It doesn’t require charisma to have others do what they’ve always been doing.
  7. Foster trust by a willingness to incur personal risk. Charismatic leaders walk the talk.  In other words, they would never expect more from their followers than what they demand of themselves.  By confidently taking such risks, it inspires others to be a little more daring, too.
  8. Influence from personal power (not position power). Being promoted to the C-suite will not automatically create charisma in a leader.  In fact, a reliance on position power (or power that is attached to the job rather than the individual) is one of the best ways to lose charisma.  Personal power arises from being present in interactions with others and from confidently expressing and brainstorming ideas.  It’s more than just being liked by others:  it’s being viewed by others as someone whom they can trust.

So, do you still think that charisma is an innate personality trait – or are you now a little more open to the idea that charisma can be learned?  Just remember:  although inherently neutral, charisma is best used for noble and positive reasons – NOT as a method to sway people down nefarious routes.  (Think of Hitler’s passionate and charismatic speeches.)

But don’t be afraid of your own charisma in influencing others!  And remember that charismatic leaders are never “cookie cutter” clones.  Be brave in bringing your own exuberant uniqueness to the job!

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

 

6 Cultural Characteristics of Innovative Companies (Infographic)

INFOGRAPHIC - 6 Cultural Characteristics of Innovative Companies

Innovation in business is defined as moving forward by implementing new, more effective processes, products, and ideas.  But such innovation cannot simply be demanded by organizational leaders.  The employees charged with the duty to innovate must be motivated and empowered to do so.  Unfortunately, that’s where many of the challenges of innovation emerge.

Employees will only unleash their creativity in the pursuit of more innovative business ideas IF the organizational culture fully supports their efforts.

There are 6 cultural characteristics that define an innovative company:

  1. Trust
  2. Integrity
  3. Respect
  4. Humility
  5. Faith
  6. Hope

But how do you encourage, support, and reinforce these cultural values throughout the workforce?

I have created an infographic to help.  This infographic not only defines each of these cultural characteristics, but also provides quick tips to introduce and sustain them within the workplace. Although I’ve included it in this post, you can download the pdf by clicking here.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com

Who Needs Sleep? How Work Overload Burns Out Employees (VIDEO)

This is the final video in my 10-part series focusing on the 10 ways that organizations burn out employees.  I’ll discuss how two types of work overload burn out employees — plus the actions you can take now to prioritize projects and help employees create a better work-life balance.

Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model.  An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube.  To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com