We all have expectations about the holidays…and often over-extend ourselves trying to meet them! The result is holiday stress.
“Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep.” This quote by Denis Waitley, a well respected success coach and author, is not about winning and losing: it’s about understanding our capabilities, time commitments, and resources so that we CAN keep the commitments that we’ve made.
Trust and promises go hand-in-hand.
We’ve all had promises broken by our bosses, coworkers, colleagues, family, friends…and ourselves. While there may have been some very good reasons why we couldn’t follow through on what we promised to do, I sometimes wonder whether it’s really about two different things:
- We focus too much on the reasons behind the broken promise, rather than the effects that our broken promises have on others.
- We focus too much on making others happy by committing to something that we know we won’t be able to do.
Broken promises create shifts in relationships. It can destroy the level of trust that took years to build. It may increase our level of caution in future dealings with not only the person who broke their promise to us, but even extend to other people as well.
Truth is essential for building trust.
How to Determine If a Promise You Make Is a Promise That You Can Keep
Exercise care when making promises — particularly to family members and loved ones. Don’t over-promise!
If there is any doubt about your ability to deliver, then state these concerns directly and initially. In this way, the person who is relying on you to “make good” on your promise is forewarned and can decide whether or not to depend on you to take these actions.
Recognize that stuff does happen. It’s critical to notify the person who is depending upon you immediately if something unexpected threatens to undermine your ability to keep your promise.
Finally, be realistic about what you have the time and energy to achieve. You might want to prepare the entire holiday dinner — but that shouldn’t mean that you “forget” to sleep on the days before the meal! Enlist others to help you AND commit to enjoying the process with them.
The meal, the decorations, and the gifts may seem to be the “traditions” of your holiday — but it is really the relationships with the people whom you love that create the cherished moments.
Need help de-stressing the holidays?
Enroll in my FREE on-demand eCourse,
Destressing the Holidays: How to Move From Bah Hum Bug to HoHoHo. You’ll learn over 50 ways to reduce holiday stress at home AND at work.
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Dr. Geri Puleo, SPHR, is the President and CEO of Change Management Solutions, Inc., an eLearning and Coaching company focused on eradicating workplace burnout through the B-DOC Model. An entrepreneur for over 25 years, keynote speaker, author, blogger, business coach, university professor, and researcher, you can see her “in action” by watching her TEDx Talk on YouTube. To contact Dr. Puleo, please go to www.gapuleo.com.